Give Me a Female Boss Any Day!

Being a woman in the workplace, especially working for a male boss is tough as shit!,

They don't get the balancing act involved in simultaneously running an office and a home. They don't care to even get a whiff that you have a sick child on the phone crying for you and don't want to hear you give the nanny instructions on the medicine she needs to administer in your absence.

No matter how 'together' you may sound or appear during the overheard phone calls of you managing your personal life from the corner office cubicle, your boss or even male colleague will think less of you on some level.

Women, albeit bitchier to work for and with, get the hustle that the fairer sex has to do on a daily basis and can find some fellow girl power respect even for their office nemesis where holding down a high pressure career and managing a family are concerned.

Where a female boss is likely to be empathetic to your frustration about being late because your nanny didnt pitch for work, your male boss will sit you down and lecture you about not being focused on your job.

We are different on so many levels and most definitely do business very differently,so why is there no handbook for women to survive the male boss?

I searched and searched online for tips on keeping the  'suited caveman' happy and found articles on: 'How to Manage your Career when you are Sleeping with your Boss', How to Survive Working with Women' and 'How to Successfully use your Breast-Pump at Work.' None of which acknowledge the difficulty that X and Y chromosomes sharing office space create.

Having run my own business and done business with mainly women, I can testify that we are far nicer, understanding and logical creatures to do work with..but it would seem that according to Google, I'm on my own.

            

Working Girl's Survival Guide to Managing the Male Boss:

Top 6 Pet Hates of Any PA

So I survived the first two weeks of the job that fell into m lap, with good money, but that I really didnt want. Yes first world problems are a bitch I know.

On most days my boss treats our very one on one, often TMI kind of relationship with professionalism and respect. The days that he does this, I feel (probably falsely so) that we are working together-similar to how I have worked partnerships in my previous businesses to reach the common goal of landing the big contract.

On the days that he didnt get his morning coffee, well those days come with annoying habits that see me dreaming of reaching over the desk and punching him in the face with his ipad.

1. While dictating an important email to be written up, opens the morning paper and begins to read. For like 10 minutes while I sit, fingers on the laptop waiting for the next word to jot down.
2. Asks whether I saw that piece of paper that he wrote on yesterday afternoon.
3. Taps my shoulder continuously while telling me a story- I'm not a goldfish God dammit, I am still paying attention!
4. Asks me how my kids are purely for the sake of asking but walks away while I'm in mid sentence.
5. Ask me to call a guy to get the DSTV sorted for ex wife- If you dont want to deal with her why should I?
6. Gets me into the office super early for something very important then doesnt show up all day or answer his phone, only to call me after hours to get cracking on the very important task.

First Day on the Job

Ah, lunch time tears! We haven't seen each other in while. It has been nearly four years since working for someone else and thus four years since spending lunch times with my head in my tear soaked lap.

Not only am I no longer my own boss, but I have taken a position I hate and am over qualified for. They say, "do what you love and you will never work a day in your life" well boy am I working now!

I never would have thought after being the creative force behind two amazing businesses that I would end up being someone else's bitch again. But life is expensive and sometimes as  moms we opt for money and more time  with our loved ones over job satisfaction.

Without this being too much of a martyr post, that's exactly what I did.
My husband afforded me three wonderful years in which I was able to build and grow my business, which I sold after giving birth to my second child. With the extra expenses, it was clear it was time to earn some serious 'moola' again and this job landed in my lap.

So here I am a high level executive assistant. It sounds flashy but there is nothing glamorous about being a PA..It really is just like having another child..a really large, spoilt, demanding and sometimes rude child.        

I am not particularly organized or admin orientated. I loath mundane tasks like booking your car in for a service or upgrading your cell phone contract.  I'm not a fan of taking orders from idiots or arseholes, or taking orders in general
and most of all I hate having to smile and keep my mouth shut.

Hold on to your seats because we are in for one hell of ride.